Invader Zim, Aliens -- Chap1

Chapter 1 -- A Day in the Life of a Paranoid Investigator

He couldn’t believe they had taken this long to get it in. Dib’s radar tracking device took a full month to get replaced. The heat sinks had given out when he tried to tweak it to pick up larger shapes.

“How could it have taken you guys this long?” Dib said holding the phone close to his head.

“Hey, man, you know you’re not even supposed to have this stuff,” the lady on the other end said, “So, feel grateful I’m doing this for you at all. You know me, Dib. I give you good service on my own time.”

“Yes, Helena, I know,” Dib said with a sigh, “And I do appreciate it. It’s just I wish you could be a little more punctual sometimes.”

“So what’s the hurry anyway,” Helena said back.

“What?”

“You sound like it’s a big emergency.”

“Umm, well…” Dib stuttered nervously. This was not something he wanted to discuss with her. “if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to stick with our original deal of don’t ask, don’t tell.” He steadied himself, picking his words carefully. "I'm sorry, it's just something I'm studying right now is all."

“Fine,” Helena grunted slightly but without sounding too agitated. “Just don’t complain at me if it’s late. Again, you shouldn’t even have this, so I shouldn’t have to work on it.”

“Yes, sorry,” Dib said, calming down from the nervousness that clouded his mind. He wasn’t thinking about their conversation; he was thinking about what he saw the last time he took a glimpse at the radar. “I’ll be right over to pick it up.”

“See you then,” Helena said in a warmer tone and hung up.

Dib was a paranormal investigator, just like his school test and lifelong dream had prophetically foretold. Much to his father’s disliking, he majored in parascience and parapsychology and got his MS at one of the more prestigious universities in Florida. Since then, he had aided two FBI agents in cracking down on unknown alien bounty hunters, provided information to a major reporter and fellow investigator, survived a New England haunting, discovered the tomb of Abdul Alhazred, and was currently trying to figure out how to exercise the haunted radio he took from a foggy, demon infested town near Taluka Lake (and it must be said, he had still been unsuccessful, even after months, on the endeavor). This dream job of his, however, was a nearly thankless task that paid him just enough to pay his rent, eat at Chicky Licky’s when he could, order and repair equipment, and pay the nursing home to keep his father in care (of which his sister aided). It didn’t matter; money was less of a concern to him. He was finally doing what he loved.

Dib looked out the window of his apartment for a moment. It was cloudy yet again today; it had been for a week in San Jose. He grabbed his coat and what he needed to make sure the radar worked and left.

Dib lived alone. He had a girlfriend for awhile, a nice girl name Gretchen, but she recently left him for someone from “out of town.” It had been around the same time the U.F.O. came out of sky, so he was curious about the coincidence. Yet, it didn’t bother him as much as it normally should have. He wondered why for awhile, but then realized. It wasn’t that he didn't like Gretchen, but his eyes had always followed the stars; his heart followed the girl from them. He never thought he’d be attracted to an invader, but he couldn’t help it. He had seen a light in her eyes, those fifteen years ago, one that wasn’t just from her mind eraser. He had always prayed she saw the same.

It didn’t help that, whenever he got into his car, the first thing on the radio was Silverchair’s “Miss You Love.” He kept driving. If what he thought he saw on that radar was correct, he had to stay focused.

Then one of the most predictable things happened, in the form of a traffic jam. Dib honked his horn a few times to get the person in front of him to move, as it seemed this imbecile was the only person standing in his way from seeing the danger that surely faced Earth. The driver in front of him, an old man with a shiny bald head and crotchety knees, got out of his car and began walking towards the front of it. He then began flailing his arms wildly and in an upward motion, causing a collection of mallards to fly away into the sky to Dib’s left.

Dib watched as the ducks flew off into the cloudy sky, below them was a beautiful yet wet grassy knoll with a sign that looked like it was half bleached and half smeared with mud. On this sign was a holy symbol and a phrase that clearly read “Come as you are.” Something about the image of the birds, the natural setting, and the slightly ruddy sign affected Dib in a way he could not explain; it wasn’t so much just the sign that affected him, but the idea that it expressed in comparison to the rest of this natural world. This gave him a momentary feeling of comfort, that things might still be alright despite the impending doom facing the world.

“Hey,” the lobotomized truck driver behind him yelled, “Get the hell out of the road! Some of us have schedules to meet! Doesn’t that mean anything to you!? Huh!? Huh!? Doesn’t it!?”

Dib looked up and saw that the old man had long since headed down the road and that he was the one now causing the traffic jam. He drove on, being sure to focus on this insane paranoia he had in the back of his mind, with that momentary comfort receding.

He arrived at Helena’s shop, a car repair depot, and got out, turning off a fine song by Alice in Chains called “No Excuses”. Helena got out from under the truck she was working on and walked over to the parking lot with his radar in hand, as if she had been expecting him.

“Here’s your part, Dib,” She said with a smile, her face covered in grime, save for around her eyes where the goggles had been. Some of it was in her red hair as well.

“Thanks,” Dib said in a slightly relieved tone, taking it in hand.

“And, Dib,” Helena said softly, “there’s no need to pay me yet. I know things are tight on you right now. Listen, you need to relax. I could tell you were stressed on the phone. If you ever need to talk, call either me or my boyfriend.”

“Thanks, Helena,” he said, rubbing his forehead, “It’s okay, though. I’ll be fine. I’m just a little stressed out right now.”

“I can understand,” Helena stated, “Take care of yourself, okay?” She waved goodbye and headed back to work on that horrid truck that had had its third oil leak this week.

Dib got back in his car and set up the radar equipment, putting the satellite dish on the roof of the car. This radar was able to pick up cloaked objects, something NASA still did not have the technology for. This is what Dib did with his money rather than buy food; he constantly upgraded his technology to beyond state-of-the-art, not just because he wanted to detect invaders, but also to see if and when she might return to him. Upon turning the device on, however, his worst fears had come to life. A very large blip was coming to Earth, prepared to crash directly into San Jose.